Hindu Marriage in Kerala
For betrothal several dozen relatives and friends and neighbours go the house of the girl. If Mothiram Maral
(exchange of ring) between the boy and the girl as token of marriage
fixation) has been agreed upon, the groom, his father and mother will
also accompany others. (In many cases the ring is exchanged during
marriage). The important function during the betrothal is the receiving
of girl’s horoscope. The horoscope is accepted by the elder uncle
(mother’s brother) from the father of the girl. The horoscope is handed
over standing before a Nilavilakku (traditional Kerala oil lamp made of bell metal) in which at least 6 cotton wicks are lighted and Nirapara
(a full measure of paddy) with flowering coconut bunch on, betel
leaves, areca nut and burning incense sticks. The receiver stands facing
east; and the giver stands facing west. If ring exchange has been
agreed upon during this function, the boy and girl exchange it with the
initiation by the boy. Of late, Valayidal practice in
the middle, upper class and families have started. Valayidal is that one
or two gold bungle is put on the hand of the girl by her would-be
mother-in-law. This function is held before noon during an auspicious
time set by an astrologer. Thereafter sumptuous food is served to all.
In many cases the day of marriage will be agreed upon this day, if not
already agreed upon earlier.
The day, date and Muhoortham
(auspicious time for Thalikettu – tying of nuptial knot – will be
prescribed by an astrologer. A slip containing these details will be
given to the family of the would-be bride by one or two elder members
from the family of the would-be groom few days before the marriage. This
is in spite of having intimated them these details earlier. Because it a
custom.
On the marriage day the girl visits a
local temple dear to her and gives Vazhipad (offering) and Nirmala
(garland made of Thulasi – holy basil (Ocimum sanctum)) with a pray for
successful married life.
On marriage day the groom and the party numbering 200 to 1000 arrive at the marriage venue before the Muhoortham.
The elder brother of the bride receives the prospective brother-in-law
with a bouquet by holding on the right hand of the groom by his right
hand. The prospective mother-in-law of the groom showers raw-rice mixed
with Thulasi leaves while a Nilavilaku is held by the wife of the elder
brother of the bride’s father. It is her right to do so. All the three
then lead the groom to the Kalyana Mandapam (a raised
marriage platform) decorated with flowers and request him to sit in
right side chair facing east. In front of the two chairs in the Mandapam
there will be a Nirapara with flowering coconut bunch on, three
traditional Kerala Nilavilakku, betel nut, areca-nut, tender coconut;,
burning incense sticks, camphor, sandal paste, a photo of a god or
goddess or a spiritual leader plus a priest to conduct the marriage
rituals. Soon the bride worn by gold ornaments received as dowry from
her parents and the costly Kalyana Saree (wedding
saree) brought and presented by the elder sister of the boy (along with
the Kalyana Saree complete dress for at-least one year’s use, cosmetics
and footwear are brought along with the Wedding Saree. The elder sister
who brought and presented to the girl is usually come along with 20 to
25 others) is brought to the Mandapam, holding a banana filled Thalam
(auspicious wick-light in half portion of coconut placed in a circular
brass or steel vessel) led by the elder and other sisters and close
related females not numbering more than 10. The bride and the small
entourage encircle the Mandapam 3 times and the bride is seated left to
the groom. The priest meanwhile will have conducted the Pooja (rites).
The priest, in the Muhoortham ,hands over to the groom the Thalimala
(necklace with gold pendant) entrusted to him by the brother-in-law of
the groom as soon as they reached the venue with a direction to tie
around the neck of the girl, ensuring Thali (gold pendant) on the Mala
(necklace) to be in the middle of chest. The elder sister of the groom
assists to properly lock the Thalimala. During the Thalikettu (tying of
naptial knot) Panchavadyam (five types of Kerala classical music) gets
performed. The next procedure is garlanding each other, the bride
garlands first. Then the father of the bride is directed by the Priest
to get hold of the hand of the daughter and entrust it in the right hand
of the groom and the father has to hold their right hands with both of
his hands as right hand above and left hand lower the couple’s hands for
a while. During this time the Priest recite some marriage-connected
verses from Vedas for the happy and long prosperous wedded life. The
father of the girl is required to re-recite the verses. After this the
groom holding the right hand of the bride in his right hand is required
to encircle the Mandapam three times. With this, the ceremony is over.
As thanks giving bride and groom separately give Dhakshina
(token amount in reverence) to the Poojari (priest) in betel leaves.
The amount of Dhakshina should be entrusted to the couple by their
respective brother-in-laws as a custom.
A full course sumptuous meal is served to all present thereafter.
After the meal is over, the groom and
party proceed to his house with company of the bride. The departure from
here is at a Muhoortham. At the groom’s house both bride and groom are
received on similar lines as was witnessed at bride’s house. Here the
part played by the brother-in-law at the bride’s house will be missing.
The bride has to enter the house of groom by holding a Nilavilakku and
she has to put her right leg first into the house.
Soon a group of people consisting
relatives, neighbours and friends numbering 100 to 500 from bride’s
family end come to the groom’s house for bringing back the couple. They
will be served with a posh tea-party. To the return journey the bride
and groom change their dress and wear a new set.
The next day the groom accompanied by a
brother of bride visits his house and returns same day. He will remain 4
to 5 days at bridal house and thereafter the couple returns to his
house.
Dowry is rampant amongst all the
religions and all sections of society in Kerala. Gold ornaments are s
major part of dowry: every class of society try to give a large quantity
of gold to their daughter as a dowry. Its also a prestige issue now a
days to give more gold ornaments. Other than that car, and home
appliances are also common forms of dowry.
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